Tuesday, December 27, 2011

Back in the swing of things

We made it through the homecoming, the 2 weeks of hubby being off work, Christmas, and now my winter break. The reuniting of our family was pretty smooth. Although our SBG has had a few moments where I can see the hurt in her eyes and the reasons behind the behavior she exhibits. I know she wants her daddy's attention. I understand her feelings and why she is confused. She asked me when her daddy came home if I was going to go to Arizona. I had to reassure her I was *not* going to Arizona, nor any other place without her. I won't lie and say things are perfect or even close to perfect. They are pretty far from perfect. There are still moments when I wonder if I can continue to live this life I never would have chosen for myself or if I should just swoop up my SBG and all our belongings and begin a life with just the 2 of us in a new home. Then I catch a glimpse of the man I fell in love with, the one who loves me unconditionally, who wants nothing more than our family to be together and I am convinced I can make it through the next few years. Surely 12 years of marriage is worth the next 5 years of sacrifices, right? So I am doing my best to focus on the good and right things in my life and to let some of the other things go. Letting go is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do. ... but I am trying.