The UnEmployed ME

So I guess I am the only one who can be so incredibly overjoyed at the fact I am unemployed and at the same time being insanely nervous and worried. First, I wanted to be home with my SBG every day and be her primary caregiver. I wanted to be the one to see every special moment, every "a-ha" light bulb that goes off in that imaginary cartoon bubble above her little, curly-haired head. But I wanted to do it on my terms. I didn't want to be forced into being just another number, just one more jobless American, just one more teacher without a classroom. Be careful what you wish for...it may just come true. So here I sit at 10:45PM on a Sunday night with my SBG tucked safely in her too-big-for-a-princess queen-sized bed surfing the internet, reading others' blogs, looking at Facebook, rather than hoping my SBG will sleep soundly until 7AM, so I can wake her up after I get myself up and ready for work, running around with sweat beads on my forehead as I try to gather up all my bags for work and her bag for school. I love, love, love being home with her. I can't say that enough. I just wish I could have made this happen on my time schedule, not the state's. And ironically, I am just as nervous about getting the phone call letting me know I have my job back as I am to have to call that dreaded hot-line to certify that I am truly unemployed.