What happened????

My mom took my daughter for the evening, so I could get some work done. As soon as she pulled out of the driveway, I had tears come to my eyes. I felt like my whole life just left... first my husband and now my baby. I know it's a good thing for my daughter to spend time away from me. It's good for both of us. I just reacted in an unexpected emotional way. I took a nice, long bath and read a parenting magazine, then made dinner and worked for awhile. But just a few minutes after my daughter left, my husband called me. He called me yesterday to tell me he was leaving the country and where he would be going. Then called me today to tell me where he is. It's hard to believe he will be gone for such a long time without seeing us at all. He was deployed for a year to Ft. Leonard Wood, but we were close enough we saw each other almost every weekend. He was been to Benning and Huachuca too for several months each time. But each time he flew home and/or I flew there to see him to break up the time. This is the longest he will be away without coming home and the first time in our 10 year marriage that we will not be together for Christmas. I hear our daughter every time she hears anything that remotely sounds like a door opening saying "Daddy's here?" and it breaks my heart. I have to tell her "No, daddy's not here. He won't be home for a long time." Tonight she pointed to our large wedding portrait and said,"I see Daddy." So I took her to the picture and she said, "I touch it." Even though her daddy has been gone many times before and for longer periods of time, she already must sense this is way different. She wears her little pin proudly proclaiming "A piece of my heart is in Afghanistan" and doesn't want to take it off. We also have a bowl of m&ms next to her fish. Every morning she feeds her fish and eats 1 m&m. When the m&ms are gone, daddy will be home. I don't think I will ever get used to this.

Best gift ever!!

I found out today that my husband will be coming home for my daughter's 2nd birthday party! This is the best gift he could give both her and me. If I could choose 1 special occasion I would want my husband to be home for, it's definitely our daughter's b-day party. Christmas and Thanksgiving and Easter are all holidays that are special, but our little girl's birthday party is the MOST special day for her and her alone. The plane ticket is crazy expensive and normally I would be cringing at the thought of spending that money on a plane ticket. However, in this situation I told him that money could not be spent on anything better. The memories we will have and the pictures our daughter will have with my husband present are worth all the money it costs and NOTHING we would buy with that money would be more important than our daughter having her daddy home for her b-day. I texted hubby and told him he just made my week!

Back to blogging...

I decided I need a place where I can blog "anonymously". I used to blog on myspace about my infertility journey. Now I have a beautiful, amazing nearly 2 year-old little girl. You may think my journey has ended... not by a long shot! My journey has just begun.

Now I have entered the world of parenting while also being the wife of a full-time police officer/part-time soldier. Life is crazy right now. My husband is deploying soon to Afghanistan. I am trying to be a mommy, a teacher, and take care of the house, finances, etc. Will I ever have time just for me? Sure, in about 16 years!

I have so many emotions stirring around... I long for a time when I can just have a "normal" life. I have to had to "fight" for everything. I got married at 27, went through 7 1/2 years of infertility (and 4 years of medical treatments). I went back to college after I got married and finished my Bachelor's degree just before I turned 30. So now at 37 (wow, can't believe I am 37) I have been married 10 yrs (next month), have a 2-year old (next month), am a full-time teacher, and am exhausted trying to do it all.